Goodbye!

I'm going to leave this place soon..So sad, all the pretty things here only dropping by in my life just for a while. But honestly, I learned a lots of things here. Something that I can't describe. Each movement, each act shows its own meaning, with a deep one even its environment.. Everyone here had taught me lots of thing about life..life that you still need to explore. I'll promise i'll come here again..This is the place for me to catch things up and get back on the track. again.Bila jatuh, kita bangun semula. Dengan cara masing-masing. Tapi bila kita dah bangun semula, tak perlulah kita lupa dengan kekalahan dan keperitan yang pernah kita terima. Kenapa? Sebabnya dari situ kita belajar. Belajar menjadi kuat kan. Mungkin ada orang yang begitu annoyed bila membaca nukilan aku yang tak seberapa ni. Tak suka tak mengapalah. Sebab ini apa yang aku rasa, tulus dan at least aku jujur dengan diri sendiri. Different people comes with different mind, different opinion. Can't blame one. But hey, its ok..I'm cool with that. :) Criticism is the best way to learn, take the postive one, throw away the negative one.

I know I made stupid things by leaving all of it behind, but now its time for me to wake up and plan something about my life..all I ask is for a second chance for my life..my future. Thats all. I promise I'll be a good gal, focus towards my future..and I'll prove to everyone one fine day soon :)

''To be a success person in life, you can't be too calculative and you are willing to learn..''

Promise!

I promise:

I will comeback home.
I will get my life back like it used to.
I will stay healthy like I used to.
I will get my job back.
I will become stronger than before.
I will never do stupid mistake again.
I will bring smile to myself.
I will treat and respect myself fair like I deserve to, where I belong, where I stand.
I will never let anyone make me cry again.
I will change my life, my future and everything.
I said I will, I will and I will.

'Taj Mahal'so called as the symbol of true love..is it?

I didn't do anything today..I didn't open up my facebook..I didn't help my cousin with those cute kids neither. I just stay at home and rest as much as I can, with the warm blanket and the new soft pillow..Things so odd to me, still..so different..I miss my mom, I miss my friends.. I'm sick, totally sick..but feeling much better after I took my medicine. Then after that I went for a walk to watch sunset..It was beautiful. I couldn't move that much actually, but I'm sick and tired staying at home doing nothing..so I forced myself to walk and take my time at the beach..Then suddenly a friend of mine came to me, a new friend actually which I known at one of the resort at here, she is Indian modern girl and she's working at the resort.. I guess she saw me from far..coz her house just nearby the beach..she gave me something..a very pretty small Taj Mahal keychain.

Me: What's this?

The girl: (Smiling) This is for you..my cousin bought this from India. But I wanted to give u this..
Me: Ha? But why? Hari ni bukan birthday I pun..
The girl: I know, but did u know that Taj Mahal is a symbol of true love? Did u read about Taj Mahal? I mean the history of Taj Mahal?
Me: I did..tapi taklah banyak sangat yang I tau. But why?????????
The girl: Dear, since u are here with your broken heart, I give u this keychain..did u know that u didn't smile a lot from the first day I saw u??I dunno anytin, but I can feel something is not ok with u and I know u are not going to tell me anytin.
Me: I didnt smile a lot? Yeke? No la..I senyum je kat u skarang.
The girl: Don't lie and jangan paksa diri. Its ok girl.. But, u know what? Whenever u feel lonely, just shake this keychain and u can see the glittering dust is all over the Taj Mahal..Very pretty u know.. and u feel happy and true love always there for u..
Me: Is there any such thing call as 'True Love' in my life ??? I dont think so.. (and I'm giving a cynical smiling)

Erm.. I dunno much about Taj Mahal actually. From what I read and heard, its a love story between Mumtaaj mahal and Shahjahan began when they accidently met each other at bazzar. Since destiny had something else written for them and they had to part. Mumtaz Mahal died in 1631 after giving birth to their 14th child. Her heartbroken husband spent approximately two decades, and much of the money in the royal treasury, fulfilling his wife's dying wish by building a monument to their love which is the 'Taj Mahal'. Until now Taj Mahal famous as a monument of Love or so called as a symbol of true love.

Then tonite, before I starts writing this, I saw the keychain which I put on my table which is beside my laptop. I took it and I try to shake the keychain as what my friend ask to and I saw all the sparkling glittering dust is move all around the 'small' Taj Mahal..Very pretty..Yeah, I am happy like wat my friend said..but I dunno why, I'm starting to cry. There is no love in my heart anymore except for my mom and family and my friends. Thats all. That is what had left on me now..a power that I hold on to. I really miss u guys, trust me, its not same here..

''True love is not how you forgive, but how you forget, not what you see but what you feel, not how you listen but how you understand, and not how you let go but how you hold on''

Susah senang bersama

I went to the mall today to get some stuff with my cousin. Suddenly, I saw this couple, cute and loving couple, probably their age around 25 something was standing nearby the perfume area. Oh yeah, seems that they are not local because I heard the way they talked tak macam orang utara pun :) I think the couple wanted to get a new perfume for them I guess. Then I heard their coversation (tak sengaja ok)
It goes like this:

The guy: Baby, perfume ni la yang I nak beli since that day. But I didn't have enough money la. Bulan ni I agak kesempitan duit sikit la since I
spent a lot for my car last month.

The lady: See, syg kan I da cakap dengan u. Handle smart with your money.
Erm..takpela. I pun ada duit lebih. I beli untuk u dulu ok. Later bila
u da ada duit, then u buy something special for me ok syg?

The guy: Erm..ok. Eh takpe ke? Since u da spent a lot for our vacation, ni u
nak belikan perfume untuk I plak.

The lady:Takpe lah syg. Its ok. Kite susah senang sama-sama kan?

Then, couple tu went straight to the cashier to pay the perfume. It was a very quick moment actually. But very deep to me..coz suddenly I was thinking about someone..My best friend. His gf left him because he can't paid for the expensive food and buy things for her. Of coz, he's still studying, what do u expect right? His gf (ex-gf) said that she didn't want to live poor with him. Dia tak biasa hidup susah katanya. I was mad when he told me that story.

I mean, come on. How mean she is. If I were that girl, I would say that I would never leave him when he's in trouble, got no money. Of coz, some issue will comeout later. But if you love the person, u'll always be with the person through good and bad time isn't it? Have faith to the person that things will change and do something about our life. Not just doing nothing. I'm so sad when it comes about this because it used happened to me once. So that's why when I saw the couple, I was suddenly smiling and said to myself in my heart ''It will b good if the couple stay together until they get marry. Sebab bukan senang nak cari someone yang boleh ada dengan kita through bad time especially. Honestly, Im speaking frankly that most of the girls nowadays memang pandang sume tu, money, status even fame. Eventhough that I'm a lady, I agreed with that. To me, cukuplah kalau dia boleh jaga kite dengan baik and be a good husband or a dad to the children, raise them well and cukup education semua. But that doesnt mean yang lelaki boleh terima takdir just like that and do nothing. If u love the person that had been sacrified a lot for you then do something about it. Change your life of course.. Jangan sia-siakan pengorbanan perempuan yang banyak berkorban untuk kita. Susah sama-sama, then bila senang janganlah kita lupakan orang yang penah susah sama-sama dengan kita dulu. same goes to the lady. Hidup tak perlu jadi kejam. Tak perlu jadi selfish. Free your heart. Treat people like it should..even somebody had made mistake to u, forgiveness is the most important thing. If they said they'll change, trust them. Jangan ada prasangka buruk. Find the good solution and the best way to fix something. To change it.

PS:// In sudden, I am thinking about someone, a friend of mine. He used to said this to me ''I nak cari someone yang bukan pandang duit I, bukan pandang nama I. Tapi sayang I sepenuh hati dia.'' Ermmm, dia da jumpa someone tu. but someone tu dah hilang larikan diri. Only God knows why. Well I wish him good luck anyway. Hope dia dapat another someone like that :)

"To find someone yg come and go mmg senang... But to find someone to be with through good and thick ... U pikir lah sendiri"

Wind blows-AAR (cover)

I'm doin nutin much this morning. Cuba untuk get use to this new place. Everyting seems different. Perasaaan masih sama. I wish it will be end soon. Dear God, guide me and give me some peace. This world is being truly mean to me day by day.

Just want to dedicate this song to those people who love this song so much especially my friends.
I couldnt finish this song coz suddenly the lyrics is killing me..thinking of something...

Cuba untuk memahami.

This morning, someone post this at my fb wall:

Biarkannya di bawah, terus terang, lenchong gelap. Menyapa, sembah ampon. Berpentasan dua, bertentangan. Parafrasanya serba satu, rendang bukan redop. Dekat salah, jauh benar. Faharasat? Biarkanlah.....
(Dipetik dari hasil nukilan Akta Angkasa)

Dan puas aku cuba untuk memahami apa maksud sebenar ayat-ayat tu semua. Mungkin aku faham. Tapi mungkin juga pemahaman aku salah. Serius memang susah nak faham. So this is what that someone told me what is exactly its meaning from his own opinion:

Biarkannya di bawah, terus terang, lenchong gelap. :
Jangan biarkan apa yang berlaku memakan diri you sangat, be strong, kalau tak, you akan dirudum kebuntuan, kekusutan.

Menyapa, sembah ampon. :
Masalah sentiasa ada. ianya bole muncul bila bila masa saja....

Berpentasan dua, bertentangan :
Apa saja yang bole berlaku di antara 2 individu yang berlainan pemikiran, pendapat.

Parafrasanya serba satu, rendang bukan redop. :
Fikiran seseorang tu, tak dapat kita nak jangka. ada yang baik, ada yang buruk. orang yang kita sayang tak semestinya baik sentiasa.

Dekat salah, jauh benar. :
Sometimes, kita bengang gila kat orang tu. and yeah, kadang kita rindu gila kat orang tu at the same time.

Faharasat? biarkanlah. :
No matter what happens, you yourself must stay strong. be strong. the best way is to grow stronger.

Dan tiba-tiba juga aku terfikir sekejap. Tersentak. Bangun seketika.
Oh ye, indah kan. Terima kasih kepada someone tu. A good friend is hard to find. But a lover, easy come easy go if they want to.

Tentang hati dan perasaan

Bile bercakap tentang hati dan perasaan ni memang takkan ada penamatnya. Sepanjang mana pun surat yang di tulis, setebal mana pun diari yang kita ada, memang takkan ada penamatnya. Hati dan perasaan adalah kurniaan dan anugerah daripada ALLAH yang tak ternilai kepada setiap insan di dunia ini.Pelbagai hikmah dan pengajaran berlaku apabila timbulnya persoalan hati dan perasaan. Yang penting adalah samada kita bersyukur atau tidak dengan setiap apa yang berlaku kepada kita dan ambil pengajaran dari apa yang terjadi. Janganlah kerana masalah yang timbul membuatkan hati dan perasaan kita terluka dan kecewa dengan keadaan. Sesungguhnya apa jua yang berlaku pasti ada hikmah yang tersembunyi. Ya, memang. Tapi bagi sesetengah orang, mereka lagi selesa menyendiri dan pergi jauh dari keadaan. Bukan melarikan diri, barangkali mencari diri sendiri dan ambil masa untuk segala-galanya. Tak perlu untuk judge apa-apa kerana setiap orang mempunyai cara masing-masing.

Memberi seseorang seluruh cinta bukanlah satu kepastian yang mereka akan menyintai kita kembali! Ia cuma mengambil masa seminit untuk jatuh hati pada seseorang, satu jam untuk menyukai seseorang, satu hari untuk menyintai seseorang tetapi ia mengambil masa sepanjang hidup untuk melupakan seseorang.

Tak perlu pandang pada kecantikan kerana semua tu sementara atau mungkin palsu. Jangan kejar kemewahan kerana ianya akan habis dan hilang juga. Jangan kejar pada nama kerana ianya sementara. Carilah seseorang yang membuatkan kita tersenyum dan susah senang bersama. Bila tiba satu ketika di dalam kehidupan apabila kita teramat rindukan seseorang sehingga kita ingin menggapainya dari mimpi kita dan memeluknya dengan sebenar. Mimpilah apa yang ingin kita mimpikan, pergilah ke mana-mana yang ingin kita tujui dan jadilah apa yang kita inginkan kerana kita hanya memiliki satu kehidupan dan satu peluang untuk melakukan semua perkara yang ingin kita lakukan.

Masa depan yang cerah sentiasa berpandukan kehidupan yang lepas yang kita sendiri dah lupa. Kita tidak boleh meneruskan kehidupan dengan sempurna sehingga kita melupakan kegagalan dan kekecewaan masa silam

''Love is something that we will never understand, World is waiting for us to move on, Future is the one that you need to think of. Isnt it?'' :)

Something that I called trust and feelings.

'Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,
'Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river.'
The little girl said, 'No, Dad. You hold my hand.'
'What's the difference?' Asked the puzzled father.
'There's a big difference,' replied the little girl.

'If I hold your hand and something happens to me,
chances are that I may let your hand go.
But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens,
you will never let my hand go.'

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.

So hold the hand of the person who like you
Rather than expecting them to hold yours...
My message is too short......but carries a lot of Feelings.
And yeah..This one is for u Dad..I miss you Dad...

New comeback guys!

Its been like ages kot rasanya tak 'ber'blogging ni...Last blog of mine deleted already. Now I felt like I wanted to write something..maybe sebab jiwa aku memang terpanggil untuk menulis kembali...atau mungkin juga terlalu banyak benda yang aku nk luahkan tapi dihalang oleh sesuatu. So I guess by writing is one of a good way to show and express my feelings or even yours too..Oh yeah anyway..why did I gave my blog's name as 'Be Careful of What You Wish for'? I was actually inspired by a book that I read last month. Everyone had their wish..and so do I..Sometimes your wish can be fulfill but sometimes it don't..

I wish I can live happily forever till the day I die
I wish I can stay strong for whateva will happen to me
I wish I can be always with my family especially my mom
I wish my father didn't go too soon
I wish I can go tour all around the world
I wish I can help the poor people,unlucky kids and stop the war
I wish I have a house surrounded by a beautiful sea with white sandy beach,Bob Marley's music and beautiful sunset
I wish I can meet Takuya Kimura
I wish I can have my own kids and live happily with my future husband
I wish I will be a success person in life

There are just too many wish that are floating in my mind now...memang takkan habis kalau nak di listkan...hahahaha. So that is why 'Be Careful of What You Wish For'..because you can't simply make a lots of wish because you might get hurt if you didn't get on wateva you wish for..

There are only two tragedies in life: One is not getting what one wants and the other is getting it.